Valentine Cousins
by Exotos135
Summary: On Valentine's Day, Bobby remembers a "tradition" he has with Carlota. Rated T just to be sure.


**Happy Valentine's Day, everybody! Today, I have a special one-shot for all of you, a story that actually takes place during Valentine's Day! And no, the pairing doesn't include Lincoln.**

 **In fact, Bobby is the one in the spotlight, as well as everybody's favorite thick sweetheart, Carlota!**

 **Why did I pick those two in particular? Well, read the title of the fic again. Then realize that there's barely anything from those two without either Lori or Lincoln. I'm someone who likes to break the mold, or just do something different in general, so here you have a fanfic!**

 **Also, I know you guys probably don't like incest, but look at the bright side: It's not Loudcest! However, since I now know somebody will get that statement wrong, let me specify: I'm not saying incest in general is okay, I'm saying that, rather than being some old tired incest you've seen before, it's something new, something that, to my knowledge, hasn't been done before.**

 **So take a chill pill, okay?**

 **I've blabbered long enough, to the fic we go!**

* * *

Today was Valentine's Day. The day of love, chocolate, and love showcased by giving women chocolate. If they liked it that is, and if there was one thing Bobby Santiago knew, was that his girlfriend Lori loved chocolate beyond belief! Sure, her other sisters liked it as much as she did, maybe even more, but he was certain they would let her keep it

That is, until Carlota, his cousin, came into the picture.

"Hi Boo Boo Bear!" the teenage girl cheerfully greeted as soon as Bobby came out of his room. "Happy Valentine's Day!"

"Happy Valentine's Day to you too, Carlota," the guy replied as he walked past the girl. "You got any plans for today?"

Carlota giggled as Bobby simply continued to walk towards the door, making sure to watch where he was going.

"You remember our little..." Carlota winked in a teasing manner. "Tradition, don't you?"

The man flinched and stopped on his tracks, nearly dropping the chocolate in the process. And once the shock from the statement finished, he turned around to face Carlota, and asked with a nervous smile, "Is it really necessary to do that, Carlota?"

"Bobby, I'm both offended and insulted that you would even think about asking that, of course it's important!" Carlota stomped the ground in fury. "It's an important tradition that we've upkeep in the Santiago-Casagrande lineage for years! We've done it every year to remind each other how, despite being blood-related, even we could learn to love one another! Does that mean nothing to you?!"

"It's just something that happened a long time ago, could you let it go already?" Bobby rolled his eyes. "Listen, I have to deliver these chocolate to Lori, since today's Valentine's Day and last time I brought her nothing, she wouldn't let me live that down until months later."

"But wait, isn't her house a long while from here? And though you do have your driver's license, Mom and Dad, and even Aunt Maria, aren't quite comfortable with the idea of letting you drive the car after your 22th attempt at getting it a couple months ago." Carlota pointed out, causing the guy to flinch once more. "Did you call her to see if _she_ could come _here_ instead?"

The man stopped to think about it, and once he thought it carefully, he turned back to face his cousin and said, as he walked back to his room, "You know, Carlota, when you're right, you're really right. I can't believe I didn't think about that until now. I just hope she doesn't mind."

"Bobby, the ideal girlfriend for someone like you is someone who's very understanding and patient," Carlota remarked, keeping a wide smile as she talked. "Specially patient, in your worst days. Besides, you've been dating that Lori gal for a long time now, right? Wouldn't you know by now if she'd mind or not-?"

"Okay, I get it," Bobby rolled his eyes. "Listen, we'll talk about this later, okay?"

The man went inside his room, left the chocolate there, and then, remembering Carlota was still nearby, he turned back and quickly left his bedroom, narrowly dodging Carlota's lips and avoiding kissing her altogether. The guy ran off elsewhere afterwards, leaving an upset Carlota behind.

"What the heck was that all about?"

The teenager briefly flinched, turned around, then spotted Ronnie Anne right next to her. "Oh hi, Ronalda, when did you arrive?"

"Just a moment ago, actually, I was doing some skateboarding tricks with my new friends and I remembered today was Valentine's Day," Ronnie explained, putting her hands on her pockets. "I came back to see if Bobby needed help in both getting his gift ready, and in making sure he didn't almost kill himself doing so, like with his Christmas present for Phone-O."

"Geez, don't remind me about that," Carlota winced and rubbed her forehead. "Seriously, the lengths he goes to impress that ska-I mean, jerk of a girlfriend, makes me wonder why Maria didn't separate them earlier."

Ronnie and Carlota said "What?!" in unison, and after a moment of silence, Ronnie Anne looked around and asked, "So, what's up with Bobby? Why did he run off?"

"He remember he didn't call his "girlfriend" earlier, and he's looking for a phone to do it, since I assume his are out of messages. Again," Carlota clasped her hands and crouched down to Ronnie's height. "Maybe you could go see him and see if he's busy or something? And if he is talking with Lori on the phone, you could ask him to let you talk with her brother, your boyfriend!"

Ronnie narrowed her eyes. "We're not boyfriend and girlfriend, Carlota."

"Give it a couple years, Nini," Carlota looked up in contemplation. "And _then_ give it a couple more years. I wouldn't be surprised if you came to me saying "you were right all along!" in a heartbroken tone. And then you'd beat me up 'cause I was right all along."

"You know me so well, it's kind of unsettling," Ronnie Anne walked past the girl. "I'll go see Bobby now. Try not to get weirder while I'm with him, okay?"

Carlota waved and chirped, "I promise nothing!"

Ronnie ran off to see Bobby, and as soon as she was out of sight, Carlota turned back to see Bobby's door. She then reached for her back, and took out a copy of Bobby's bedroom key.

And then she turned to face the reader, "Believe it or not, I have to keep a spare of this key just in case Bobby misses his keys. Again."

Back with Ronnie Anne, she found Bobby sitting on the couch, using the family phone to try and call Lori. However, when he got a voicemail rather than the young woman herself, he sighed and hung up, giving Ronnie the perfect chance to sit next to him.

"Hi Bobby," she greeted, getting his attention. "Are you calling Lori?"

"Yeah, I want to try and ask her if she could come here so she could get her Valentine's Day gift," Bobby put a had on his cheek. "And I'd like to do so before Carlota gets the idea to try her tradition next."

Ronnie raised an eyebrow. "What tradition?"

Bobby blushed and rolled his eyes, before whispering said tradition to Ronnie's ear.

"Wait a minute, Carlota wants to kiss you as a tradition for Valentine's Day?" Ronnie raised an eyebrow, and Bobby nodded. "How the heck did she come to that conclusion? And why haven't I heard about that tradition until now?"

"It's not so much a tradition as it's something she likes to do for fun," Bobby sighed. "As for how she got the idea, it happened a long time ago, back when we were kids."

 _A long time ago..._

The younger Bobby slowly entered Carlota's bedroom, and spotted the girl sitting on her bed, looking at the night sky through her window. She was rather plump for her age, not to the extent she would be considered obese, but still notably fat. Then again, when you have a grandmother who tries to fatten up her family members if she thinks they're too thin, that's to be expected.

"I something bother you, Carlota?" he asked, getting the fat girl's attention. "You only ever look at the night sky when something's on your mind."

"No, nothing's wrong... well, there might be something wrong, but it's nothing you need to concern yourself with," Carlota answered, only to somberly add, "It's only something about... my first kiss."

Bobby sat right next to Carlota, and this prompted the girl to further explain herself, "My school crush invited me to the Valentine's Day dance our school's holding tomorrow night, but according to my friends, almost everybody is going to come out of there, having had their first kiss. But... I don't know, something about it just makes me so nervous!"

"That's understandable, the first kiss is one of the most nerve-wracking things in a teenager's life," Bobby replied, sending a chill down his cousin's spine. "It could be great, it could go wrong, it could be shocking, it could be practically anything-!"

"Have you had your first kiss yet, Bobby?" Carlota casually asked.

Though he flinched for a moment, the guy calmed down long enough to answer, "Well, yeah, I kissed a girl once. She had blonde hair and had a bad habit of saying "literally" every now and then."

"How was it like?" Carlota tilted her head. "The first kiss, I mean."

"I think I felt some sparkles in that kiss, and I did like it overall," Bobby shook his head and folded his arms. "Although, they felt really faint, so I may need to dig deeper into her personality before I can say if it's love or not. But, bottom line, I liked the kiss."

Carlota looked at the ground with a conflicted look, prompting the boy to put a hand on her shoulder and say, with a reassuring tone, "B-B-But that was only my first experience with one of those! Your first kiss might be entirely different!"

"And that's precisely what makes me so afraid of it!" Carlota twiddled her fingers nervously. "I mean, I don't really know about romantic stuff too well, and besides, look at me! I'm much more... full, than the rest of my female classmates! What if the guy I wind up having my first kiss doesn't like how I look? What if he messes up? What if I mess up?! What if-"

Bobby held Carlota's hand and stated, "Stop it."

Carlota turned to face her cousin as he spoke, "I know you may think the girls that do get boyfriends, or anything in general, are always thin, and heck, the girl I may or may not be destined to date is also fairly thin, but that doesn't mean anything. Only a true jerk would reject you solely because you're fatter than the other girls."

The plump girl's eyes shined in relief, and slight flattery. "Bobby..."

"Who cares about how you look? What really matters, is how you and the other person like each other, externally and internally. If you go to the dance, and people will judge you for that, then I don't think that's a dance worth going to," Bobby petted Carlota's hair. "And, if you still wanna go despite that possibility, then I'll be your date. Sure, it might be awkward, but dances like that are always awkward anyway!"

A brief moment of silence passed, and then, Carlota did something unexpected:

She gave Bobby a passionate kiss on his lips, and as soon as the kiss finished, she and the guy-stunned by what just happened-exchanged looks before Carlota said, with a dreamy tone:

"Thank you so much... Bobby..."

 _Back at the present..._

"No way, are you seriously telling me," Ronnie Anne held back her laughter. "Carlota used to be really fat?!"

"Of course she did! I mean, have you seen her thighs and legs? They're too meaty to come out of a girl who was thin when she was younger!" Bobby folded his arms and shook his head. "Carlota was really fat as a kid, but when puberty slapped her right in the face, that fat moved on to her legs, thighs, and the rest of her body in general."

"Well if that's the case, then I'm gonna ask grandma to fatten me up asap!" Ronnie Anne put her arms behind her back. "And so next time Lame-O comes see me, his jaw's gonna fall off once he sees how thick I've become!"

The brother and sister laughed for a moment afterwards, but it wasn't long before Bobby's laughter ceased altogether, with Ronnie barely registering this until several seconds of only her laughter had passed. Once she noticed, she stopped and Bobby continued:

"Ever since then, every Valentine's Day Carlota comes up to me and plants a kiss on my lips, and she never gives up until our lips connect. The only thing I don't understand is, why me and only me? Can't she kiss any of her brothers instead?!"

Ronnie Anne smiled and held back her laughter. "Bobby, we both know that wouldn't make the situation any better."

"I know, but..." Bobby sighed. "My girlfriend is very jealous and envious, if she finds out my cousin kissed me in the lips, she's gonna flip out!"

"Then kiss her as soon as you see her," Ronnie bluntly suggested. "I'm sure she'll leave you alone afterwards."

"It's just that... ever since that whole deal happened, Carlota's gotten more and more excited to repeat it year after year!" Bobby scratched the back of his head. "It's almost like-"

Ronnie tilted her head. "-She was in love with you?"

Bobby flinched and turned around to Ronnie Anne with a horrified look, prompting her to hastily correct herself:

"I'm not saying that's the way it's going, she's probably just happy because she got her first kiss and she wants to make sure you two always remember that moment," Ronnie saved her hands on her pockets. "After all, that's the very same time you helped her get over her insecurities, right?"

Bobby scratched his chin as Ronnie finished, "Just humor her today, and then you can talk to her and see if she'll agree not to do it anymore. That's the best thing you can do, in my opinion."

"...I guess it really is the best thing I can do," Bobby sighed and smiled. "Thanks for the talk, Nini."

"No problem, Bobby," Ronnie softly punched Bobby's shoulder. "Now go get her!"

Bobby nodded, and ran off to find Carlota in his bedroom. She was putting a bow on a gift box, and Bobby's chocolate was nowhere to be seen, giving him an idea on what happened.

"Believe it or not, Bobby, there are better ways to hide chocolate than leaving it out in the open," Carlota remarked as she turned to look at Bobby, arms folded behind her back. "You can thank me later, but pro advice: Put some more effort into hiding your stuff before doing anything else."

Bobby shook his head once and walked towards Carlota. "So, I spoke with Ronnie Anne. And, though there's something I want to talk to you about, there's something I want to do first."

The guy and Carlota shared a kiss, and as soon as they separated, they maintained a look of equal relief as their eyes shined.

"It's amazing that even after doing it for several years, it makes me happy no matter what," Carlota remarked with a wide smile. "And now, you want to talk about something... it's about this kiss tradition I got going on, right?"

"Well, yeah," Bobby scratched the back of his head. "I wanted to know if you could put it on hold? It's not that I don't enjoy, though there's also that, but you're so persistent in getting a kiss every year, that I feel terrified about what could happen if Lori sees you kissing me. That would be bad for both of us."

"... Yeah, I can see that," Carlota took a deep breath. "You already did so much for me, Bobby. I think it's only fair I do something in return, so alright, I'll put the "tradition" on-hold. I'm sorry if it caused you a lot of trouble."

Bobby petted Carlota's head. "It's alright. I'm not mad at you."

"Well, I'll go help at the bodega now," Carlota separated from Bobby and ran off as she added, "We got several special Valentine's Day sweets that need to be marked and displayed for potential customers!"

Once Carlota was out of sight, Bobby sat right next to the gift box with chocolate. He glanced back at it, and despite it reminding him of Lori, he remained calm as he reached for his phone and called Lori's number.

And as soon as she answered, he said, "Hello, babe."

"Hi, Bobby Boo Boo Bear!" Lori cheerfully responded. "Sorry for not answering your call earlier! I was waiting on a literally queu for a special chocolate sale, since I figured my siblings would've eaten all the other chocolate by now, but they ran out of it before I could get close to the counter. What a bummer."

"Interesting, my family's bodega's having a special sale for some sweets, including chocolate," Bobby glanced at the gift box. "I was wondering if you wanted to come here for it?"

"Abso-literally-lutely!" Lori chirped. "You're a life saver, Bobby! Let me get dressed and I'll drive there right away!"

Bobby turned to the gift box, and put a hand on it as he finished, "Put something nice, babe, because I have something special for you here as well. Happy Valentine's Day."


End file.
